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Keep control of your divorce with a cool head

When you're facing divorce, the last thing you want to think about is your spouse draining your accounts or taking all your assets. You bought the majority of the assets you have in your relationship, and it was you who worked hard to make sure your spouse was supported.

During a divorce, it is possible to establish dominance and to take control to make sure you get what you need. In Maryland, the law allows for equitable distribution, which is good for those who invest a lot into their relationships. Instead of being in a state where it's expected that you share marital assets 50-50, you are in one that wants to see a fair division of assets.

How can you take control of your divorce?

The first thing you have to remember is that a divorce is likely to cause some strain emotionally and financially. If you can prepare for emotional days and be ready for financial surprises, then you'll be in a good position to stay in control.

You need to make sure you treat your spouse respectfully and to be mindful of how you appear to the court. If you can keep a solid reputation throughout the divorce while your spouse appears petty, that will work out in your benefit in the end.

The primary place you gain control is through keeping a cool head. Anger, frustration or other emotions could result in making decisions you later regret. Yes, a divorce is going to have its challenges, but if you can take them in stride, you'll make better financial decisions, negotiate more accurately and have a clear picture of what you want to see happen by the time the divorce is resolved.

Keep in mind that it's up to you to decide if you want to negotiate, mediate, arbitrate or go to trial over disputes with your spouse. If you have the money to spend, then you can negotiate and take your spouse to trial when you can't agree. If you'd rather save money, then you can concede to some of the things your spouse wants while going after bigger-ticket items for yourself.

The extend to which you negotiate and investigate before coming to an agreement for a divorce is up to you. Decide how important certain assets are early on, and then you can talk to your attorney about fighting for the things you want to keep in your control.

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