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Divorcing? It is okay to be 'not okay'

American pop culture and marketing tend to play up the idea that all individuals want to live happy, healthy, prosperous and engaging lives. However, everyone experiences days when these adjectives simply do not apply. When tragedy, illness, injury or heartbreak strike, most individuals do not feel happy, healthy, prosperous and engaging. It is important to understand that, in context, it is absolutely okay to be not okay.

Certainly, if one’s “blues” become severe or are prolonged, it is important to seek support both from loved ones and from medical professionals. But if you are “simply” struggling in the wake of a single event like divorce and your blues are not so severe that they are significantly affecting your physical or mental health, you may “simply” be not okay. And that… is okay.

If you need to spend a week curled up on the couch watching marathons of “The West Wing” or whatever other program suits your mood, that is okay. If you need to call in “sick” to work for a day or two in order to get pampered at a spa or simply to sleep uninterrupted, that is okay too. Coping with situational depression in ways that do not harm you or anyone else is understandable and can even be healthy.

If you feel at any time that you might benefit from additional physical or emotional support, please seek it out. Just as an attorney can help you navigate the legal aspects of the divorce process, a counselor or physician can help you navigate the emotional aspects of it. But otherwise, if you need to be not okay in ways that are healthy and do not last too long, know that this instinct is normal.

Source: The Huffington Post, “What to Say When You're Not Okay,” May 20, 2015

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