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Is your marriage beyond repair?

Is working on your marriage or is opting to divorce the healthiest choice for you? This is a complex, nuanced and difficult question. And for better and for worse, it is a question that only you can answer. You may be wondering how you can begin to assess whether or not divorce is the healthiest option for you. The life’s work of a respected professor and his research team may offer you a clue.

University of Washington professor of psychology Dr. John Gottman and his associates have been studying the issue of divorce for 40 years at the Gottman Institute. Specifically, the research that the institute conducts focuses on predicting when divorce is likely to occur. After studying the interactions of thousands of couples, Gottman has narrowed his focus to four primary predictors of divorce.

These predictors are contempt, defensiveness, criticism and stonewalling. Certainly, many couples will engage in one or more of these behaviors from time to time. However, if these behaviors are consistently present in your marriage or if they are particularly destructive to your relationship, it may not be the healthiest choice for you to stay.

Only you can determine which course of action you need to take in order to give yourself the best chance at a healthy and happy future that aligns with your most important values. If you are having difficulty determining whether or not to file for divorce, please consider speaking with a counselor about your concerns. And if you decide that divorce is indeed the healthiest choice for you, please speak with an experienced family law attorney as soon as you can.

Source: The Huffington Post, “4 Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed For Divorce,” Brittany Wong, March 6, 2015

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